I’m sorry if I haven’t shown you the love and respect you deserve but please stay with me. I will do better.
It’s been a rough few months health wise. February and March were very stressful. It started with an acute attack of palpitations at the start of February. They were so intense, I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. During the course of February, I had blood tests to check my thyroid. An ECG (electrocardiogram) to check my heart’s rhythm, rate and electrical activity. I also had a portable heart monitor for 7 days to catch my ticker in action.
The blood tests were fine. ECG was normal. The heart monitor was all over the place. As calm as 65bpm then shooting up to 130bpm the moment I did anything. Its worth noting that I was not consuming any alcohol or caffeine at this time or working out to any great degree.
What was happening? I was having chest pains now. I was convinced I felt a swelling in my chest. I was too scared to exercise or even wear a bra. I was a mess. How can I be reaching tachycardia by walking upstairs with my laundry!!
6th March – I’m sitting opposite my doctor. I’m crying already, convinced I’m heading to the cardiac ward of my local hospital… she’s as calm as a cucumber.
My heart rate is fast at times but its rate and wave formation is normal. She puts the whole thing down to anxiety and stress and says that I am experiencing panic attacks. Erm…why would I get myself into a state over laundry? The first time it happened I was out having lunch with a friend, I had nothing to be stressed about. I’m not buying it.
We talked it through and I ended up with a short term course of beta blockers for immediate relief; Antidepressants for the medium term and some details about sites and companies, I can contact for longer term counselling.
I took a few beta blockers for a couple of days. I read and re-read the guidance leaflet for the antidepressants. I just couldn’t take them. Under common side effects was; depression, feeling strange, anxious, agitated, nightmares, chest pain, palpitations, visual disturbances…I have enough problems.
Two days prior to this doctor’s appointment, I had a check up with the hospital’s gastroenterology department, for my Ulcerative Colitis. All was going as expected, until a routine blood test, had flagged up an increased bilirubin level. I had no idea what that was but was quickly informed that it signalled a possible liver issue. Terrific!
Another liver function blood test was done there and then. An ultrasound scan was ordered and I was sent on my way. The following week, I received a letter requested further liver related blood work. I managed to get this test done before Coronavirus closed everything down. My liver scan was due on 28th March but that was unfortunately indefinitely postponed.
Looking at my antidepressants leaflet again, I shouldn’t take them with liver disease. I don’t know what’s wrong with my liver and may not know for months.
Still caffeine and alcohol free, I started exercising. 3 times a week. Light aerobics. I have kept that up for the last 3 weeks and will continue to do so. Apparently exercise can help the heart and lower the resting heart rate. At this point I will try anything. I don’t want to take scary meds. I just want to be well with a calm heart rate and a decent liver.
It’s been almost a month since I have had any palpitations. However, yesterday about an hour after my workout, I was sat with my husband relaxing and watching TV. I felt a flutter. I stood up and started pacing, petrified it was going to be as severe as the attack at the start of February. It wasn’t. I took a beta blocker but was unable to relax enough to go to sleep until 1.30am this morning.
I wasn’t stressed or panicking. I was relaxing at home. Not exactly a panic attack inducing situation, much like my lunch with a friend. So what’s going on with my heart? What is wrong with my liver?
I looked into the options for counselling, given to me by my GP. Both of which had appalling reviews. I looked up a private counsellor on the Counselling Directory. At £50 per 50 minute session, this is not an option for me.
Next thing to go will be sugar, apparently it increases the heart rate. I will keep exercising; as even though doing cardio scares me now, it’s supposed to be good for me. I see the doctor again next week. I am not crazy. I just need answers. On the plus side, I have not been dwelling on my eye disease while this has been going on. Now there’s a silver lining!