Being a mum is one of my favourite things. Actually it is probably the most amazing part of my existence. Becoming a parent has been life changing in every possible way you can imagine. I pictured myself as a mother for many years. I became a step mother in my 20s and a biological mum in my 30s. I wouldn’t …
Can We Talk
March has been a big month for me. Mentally, emotionally and physically. My therapy got off to a rocky start. The first session, where I divulged a great deal about my life and what ultimately led me to seek counselling, was heavy and left me a jittery wreck for days. The night after my session, I just couldn’t sleep at …
The Sleepover
“Hi hon, what’s the chance of me staying over tomorrow night?” Blimey. Getting my mum to visit is like trying to secure an audience with Jennifer Lopez; imagine my surprise when her last visit extended to an overnight arrangement. It was great to see her. My daughter loved having her Nanny around for more than a quick lunch. We did …
Zoom Therapy
Happy 3rd Anniversary RP! You are with me daily, always irritatingly right in front of me. You never take a day off. Your persistence is matched only by your brutal capacity, to mercilessly rob me of my ability to see clearly. You are an arsehole and just in case you were wondering, I didn’t buy you a gift! Had my …
Worry while you wait
This month I finally saw a doctor, in the flesh. I was beginning to think I would see a Unicorn before I ever clapped eyes on a doctor again but the New Year brought me an actual appointment. She was lovely. After telling her all about my issues she agreed to see me. I’ve been struggling with a weak knee, …
Seeing it through to 2022
Trigger Warning – Post contains references to panic attacks and self harming. Happy New Year to you all! How was it? Awesome? The night of all nights? Cocktails on the dance floor? Or was it quiet and cosy? Chilled in front of the TV? Or did you take to your bed before Big Ben chimed in? Whatever happened I …
Back to 1995
Trigger warning. This post contains a lot of medical information and upsetting details. These are all true events and represent my experience and beliefs only. 1995 was the year my health anxiety started. Following my last post I thought I would share a bit more of my personal journey. Sorry if this is a tough read – it’s been a …
My Health Anxiety Cycle
I once heard health anxiety described as a water balloon. The thinking behind that was, once you squashed one hideous symptom another would pop up, right next to it and over and over it would go. The moment you have a squashed victory at one end, it would swell up on the other side. Yet another scary symptom with horrific …
Core Values
“It is health which is real wealth, and not pieces of gold and silver” – Mahatma Gandhi As a typically stressed person, who is always thinking that something bad is around the corner, getting ill really knocks me off my perch. I’m not talking about a cold or an irritating cough, I’m talking really sick. The kind that has you …
The Breakdown
I‘m usually able to keep my crazy in check, I’m the girl that is often asked, “How do you do it?”. I’m not sure what people would think if I told them the truth. I guess on the outside, I do present a very different persona, to the whirlwind that’s happening inside. I don’t like to cause a fuss or …