Marriage & Relationships

Sleep or Leap

The trouble with getting married on Valentine’s Day is the overwhelming assumption that my husband and I are hopeless romantics.  Let me stop you right there, we aren’t.

This year we celebrated our 9 year anniversary and when I say celebrated, we went to work.  My husband then went to collect my mum so she could stay over and provide some child care cover for us the following day, while we both went back to work during my daughter’s half term holiday.

We exchanged gifts first thing in the morning, then our normal hectic routine resumed.  According to the Oracle that is Google, gifts for 9 years of wedded bliss should take the form of Willow or Pottery.  On some sites, leather and copper were also suggested.  Turns out, you have to put some serious years on the table before any jewels start arriving.

My husband put me to shame this year.  I usually nail it but his gift was thoughtful and personalised.  We both went in the pottery direction but seeing our gifts side by side, yeah I definitely phoned it in this year.

As we approach a decade of marriage and 12 years of doing life together, it’s easy to see that our very busy lives get in the way of the little things.  With us both working, commuting and keeping up with school and after school clubs, we often find ourselves slumped on the sofa together at the end of the day.  As 9pm arrives we barely have the energy to make a cup of tea and going to sleep is top of the agenda.

Is life just that busy nowadays?  Are we old parents?  Is this normal for most folk?  Am I just looking for things to be concerned about?  

My mum, who loves a bit of Facebook over breakfast, told me about a few romantic gestures she’d seen online.  I’m such a cynical person, as I listened I thought about all those champagne breakfast photos and people rushing to take pictures of their freshly squeezed orange juices and supermarket bought croissants with a duvet backdrop …oh please.  Endless sweet tributes and declarations of unconditional love on the day made for lovers.  My question is, at what point during these romantic proceedings, do you decide to halt everything to take a picture of it and share it?  Did you hold your significant other close on this beautiful day and tell them they meant everything to you or did you save that good stuff for your socials?

Damn, I am cynical.  Cynical and old.

This year is a leap year, which means that the tradition is flipped and ladies can propose to their man.  I’m all for it.  Love is love, no matter who asks.  Let’s hope that whomever photographs the spontaneous moment today, 29th February ready for the subsequent upload, captures a smiling acceptance – anything else is just awkward.

The gift at 10 years of marriage is tin or aluminium.  I thought a decade of commitment was worthy of a little more pomp and pageantry but alas not.  I’m glad I have a whole year to plan because all I can think of at the moment is condensed milk (my husband loves it) and Bacofoil.  

I know I can do better than that. 

Happy Leap Day!

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