Usually anniversaries are occasions to celebrate but I have a tough time with today’s significance. Today 12th March marks 5 years to the day I was told I had RP (Retinitis Pigmentosa), again.
This time the diagnosis was accurate and this time, it was going to happen. The ’it’ being sight loss. 5 years ago I had no idea what the next 12 months would bring and my mind didn’t dare think further. Would I be completely blind? Would I be able to look into my daughter’s chocolate-cup eyes for hours on end? Would I be working? Would I be anything?
It is hard to be grateful in the face of a diagnosis such as mine but I am. 5 years have passed and I am still independent, still a hands-on mum and working. I remain firmly in the camp of not looking too far ahead but I know many people that don’t do that for a myriad of different reasons.
I am worried that I currently have a job that I will not be able to continue as things progress and I am concerned that I am not actively preparing for the decline both professionally and personally. How do you prepare for it?
I celebrated Mother’s Day with my daughter and husband this weekend which was lovely. It was great to press pause on the daily grind and spend time as a family. I was spoiled and my little girl’s thoughtful hand-made gifts filled my heart. I even received a message from my eldest daughter.
Happy Mother’s Day!. Hope you have a lovely day! You deserve it. Thanks for always loving us like we are your own blood. Wouldn’t want any other step mum 🖤🖤
I may have a full plate but receiving messages like this, remind me that regardless of what I have faced and will continue to confront – I always put love and others first. Loving my two step-daughters and continuing to be part of their lives, even after the divorce from their father, is one of many blessings that have come my way. I am a very proud mum of 3 amazing girls and being a mother is my greatest achievement.
So, to the next 5 years – you scare the crap out of me but I will keep showing up for myself and those that love and depend on me. Some days I will win, others I will undoubtedly be a hot mess. I am doing life, carrying a heavy backpack containing borrowed time but I am doing it anyway – who’s with me?