I complain a lot during my day, mostly to myself under my breath, it happens. A few bugbears do come up regularly through. One of which stems from the phenomenon of the third hand.
As a mum, most baby related gifts and gadgets, are designed for one hand operation. Designers are savvy about what mums need. They are aware that the majority of the daily tasks carried out, require one basic formation. Baby in one hand and essential baby related paraphernalia in the other. Sweet.
No.
I have not come across an easy, one-handed-simple-to-use-click-on number, since day one. The times I have rocketed from, calm earth mama to rip your entire face off rage, cannot be measured. Stuff should just work. Picture the scene, baby in one hand and using one of the following items with the other:
Stair-gate
A certain brand of basic sippy cup
Car seat
Jumperoo
High chair
Anti Colic Bottle
Formula Milk Dispenser
Other than our car seat (expensive) and the stair-gate (attached to the wall), I have thrown all the other items across the room. Please note, my child was not in or attached to any of these items at the time. I have never been a thrower but damn, I can throw with the fire of a thousand suns, when pushed. I have also been known to yell a customary ‘Fuck you!’ at this inanimate object, once it’s final resting place has been reached.
Where is my third hand? One for baby, one to hold the gadget still and one to operate it as intended. My glow as a mother, purely comes from my sweat, at trying to operate these tosser items while carrying my child around. With a toddler, it’s no better. They are heavier, more fidgety and if on foot…fast little buggers.
All the easy-use-made-with-mummy-in-mind shit is great, when it works. However, many of the products just don’t fit the criteria. On a rough day, following a sleepless night, you will want to blow torch that cup for not opening. You will stamp on the powdered milk that now graces your floor. The no-leak bottles that are currently pissing milk all over your child…don’t even get me started. The pressure cooker that is your sanity, as you are trapped in a room by your stair-gate. My stair-gate requires two hands to open and close, leaving me to hold my child back with my ass! Hold my child or hold that gadget, whatever your choice, I need a third hand!