It’s been almost a year since my husband and I went out child free. The dirty weekends, all night parties and generally going with the flow, are a distant memory.
A girlfriend of mine, stepped into the breach this week and looked after our daughter for the afternoon. The hubby and I sprinted for the car – probably running for the first time since school. We wanted to make sure we had every minute of this precious afternoon off. I will admit, the temptation to just go back upstairs and sleep was huge but we decided to visit the outside world. No bottled milk, no baby food, no ratty toddler screaming out of boredom at the table. Just us. Finally.
We ate hot food, drank good wine and embraced the ability to speak freely. I can’t tell you that this afternoon gave us a new lease of life. Or that it gave us a few hours to unclench and regroup. I can tell you, that it was a bloody expensive argument. We don’t get quality time together. We pass like ships in the night most weeks and our child free afternoon, put a big fat magnifying glass over that! In short. We enjoyed our meal over a long and very heated discussion about our finances, relationship and communication. It was the exact opposite of romantic and sexy. The time raced by as the conversation circled round and round about who said what to whom. Dismal. All the excitement of having some time to ourselves was gone. So was that precious time. There is always next year right? Relationships need time, chat and fun. All the stressful stuff that life brings, will happen with minimum effort but the time, the chat, the fun – that’s on us.
We live on a tight budget, the month to month kind, with no wiggle room. Like so many other families I’m sure, things are tough. We are determined, to not allow the daily grind, to get in the way of our quality time again. Money has been a hot topic this week and the current conundrum is this – Do we embark on some marriage counselling, to help us stay on track and manage this difficult time. Or do we send our little girl to nursery, two mornings per week, to help her socialise with more children. We cannot do both. We immediately want to put our girl first but then by putting our marriage first – we are still doing that. We are undecided.
My beautiful daughter is the most social kid I know. Happy to visit with people and will gladly go up to any child, during a class, to eagerly make another new friend. I am so proud of her and with each confident step she takes, I am in the wings thinking, YES! I still feel pressure to start her nursery journey, as outsiders are quick to comment, that this is what she needs. No doubt, based on what they had to do in their own situation. The fees for any kind of nursery placement are expensive. For one morning only, at our chosen place, was £40! Marriage counselling £40 – 60 per hour and we would have to visit them during office hours. The only way that could happen, is if I took our daughter with me to session and they spoke to my husband at the same time, from his place of work. Conference call style. Ridiculous.
Lots to think about. Luckily for me, that’s what I do best.