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Shallow Phase

Bullying of any kind, using any forum, is beyond awful.  Sadly this behaviour is not going anywhere anytime soon.  It has become par for the course for many people.

My eldest stepdaughter is having a few issues with internet bullying.  Random people, who think making nasty comments about her appearance, is cool.  It’s really not.  We share more pictures and videos online now then ever before and to a positive audience, most of the time.  With everything so public and accessible, it’s inevitable that a complete dick head, will invade this loving environment and crap over it.  The good news is, after a few low days, my girl is back to her usual amazing self.  Confident, funny and beautiful. Resilience is a wonderful thing.

I know many women of my mums generation that would love to be young again. Personally I am glad I grew up when I did.  We had the same issues then as kids do now, just without the ever-present glare, of social media.  I am so grateful for the 15 years worth of photos that never made it to digital format.  Before any kind of filter or ability to pluck one’s brows with expertise.  These photos are safely stashed away from Facebook et al, in a shoe-box in my parents loft.  My folks have never used old photos to embarrass me or my younger brother but in case my mum gets brave –  I have my shredder primed and ready.

At school, I remember stressing about my coat and what brand of trainers I wore but that was about it.  We were all striving for individuality back in the day.  The funny thing is – we all ended up looking the same – the girls anyway.  

We had a very specific uniform to wear so that took most of the pressure off.  Looking cool was really not given any kind of chance at my secondary school.  We all had the same jumpers with the school shield on.  The gross red running knickers that we wore under our racing green gym skirts were mandatory.  The girls were only allowed to wear one ring, one pair of earrings and the skirt had to be of an appropriate length.  It had to be to the knee and a beautiful shade of grey.  

Once the layer of uniform was on, us girls could decorate it.  We had so much choice but strangely, we all stuck to this format:

Heather or Coffee Shimmer lipstick by Rimmel
Soft and Gentle deodorant
Charlie Red or Impulse Body Spray
White Musk and Dewberry products from Body Shop
Naff Co 54 jackets – No market knocks offs
Platform shoes or Kickers
Argyle pattern socks
Creole earrings
Horn of Life or Hologram pendants on gold chains
Half or full sovereign rings

Classy

There were a few ladies, that by year 11, had mastered a good makeup routine.  The rest of us just applied some lipstick and plucked our eyebrows into oblivion.  We did not experiment with liquid eye liners, contouring or fake tan.  Fillers and Botox were just not part of life back then.  Some girls would be bold and colour their hair at home.  They would come in, supporting a fabulous mahogany shade but that’s as outrageous as we got.

Diet and fitness were low priority too back then.  Lunch was straight up packed or provided by the school, whatever was your pleasure.  No one was unwrapping sushi or tucking into a salad.  I did not see a single houmous covered carrot stick, the entire time I was there.  We just hung out, ate sandwiches and talked.  There was no wider audience back then.  There was not even a Nokia 3210 between us.  We had it easy by comparison.

I am all for making the best of what you have but the plot has been lost somewhere.  The sea of orange tan and halogen teeth is reaching far and wide.  We are all surrounded by plumped, bleached, filtered and filled individuals seeking perfection – what is that?  Who decides that?  How far down this road are we going to go?  

My Stepdaughter has a few tattoos, has turned flawless make up into an art-form and is truly stunning inside and out.  I am so proud of her each and every day.  I hope that she continues to shine and spread her wings without any kind of negativity trying to box her in.  

I look back at my fashion choices and priorities of the 90s and laugh at how little it all mattered.  I hope my stepdaughter is sat with her friends in 15 years time, laughing at how people were and how people used to behave.  I was always told about phases when I was little – It’s just a phase, it will pass.

Roll on the next phase as I am waiting this one out.

 

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