Seems stupid now but that was my exact search criteria on Google this week. My baby is nearly one and mobile, not graceful, but mobile. I have had several virtual heart attacks already. The crawling, rolling and furniture coasting. It’s a 24/7 operation to keep her safe and me sane. I think my little girl actually thinks her name is …
Sing it like you mean it!
The best slogan I have seen on a T Shirt in a long time is: If the love doesn’t feel like 90’s R&B I don’t want it! Genius. I hope I have the balls to walk up to the person wearing this little beauty and shout – PREACH! When I was growing up, there was always music playing at home. …
Mama say, Mama Do
When I was pregnant I definitely did not fit the profile of a relaxed earth mother. I was not a hot mess, I was a neurotic one. I wanted my pregnancy to be a 9 month holiday from my mental flapping. Unfortunately my tightly wound brain took the red pill and off down the rabbit hole I went. I …
The Task List
It’s 7am. My husband is already up, sipping coffee and glued to this phone. He is not reading the news, checking the weather or visiting any kind of social media platform. He is looking at one thing…The Task List. The Task List is his digital ‘to do’ list. This list is comprehensive and constantly being updated. Anything from washing the …
The Call Centre Flashback
I have had the pleasure of working in a few of these establishments during the course of my career. In the past 10 years they have become an integral part of the office machine. They are staffed by every type of human there is and trained to function as one. Most call centres follow a similar format with bespoke idiocy …
The Pecking Order
When I was a teenager, I thought that my status and place on the food chain would be achieved through kindness, patience, gratitude, hard work and ambition. My place, once secured, would then be sacrosanct. Family would always love and support me. They would be there in my weak moments and stand with me shoulder to shoulder in my success. …
My Post Baby Reality
I was always hoping to fall into the Yummy Mummy category at this stage of the proceedings. I have read all the glossy magazines, featuring celebrities that slip back into their old lives and skinny jeans within weeks! On the opposite page is the obligatory counter argument that the Yummy Mummy is a myth and not realistic. Blah Blah Blah. …
Every Silver Lining has a cloud
A big fat miserable one ready to dump on your good mood with grit and determination. I love my husband dearly but he has a tendency to be so serious! The ultimate miserable old git in a young man’s body. My other half has two personalities. One that thinks everything through point by point and one that doesn’t think at …
Footloose and Panty Free
Today had one important thing going for it. 90 minutes of child free time. I’m so excited!!! Basically my mum looks after my daughter while I go for a bikini wax – a break is a break! I drive there, get the carpet replaced with hardwood floors and drive back. Wonderful. It’s the one break I get every month so I enjoy …
Me, my Selfie and I
Like any proud Mummy, I do like to take the odd photo of my gorgeous baby girl. Usually if I want a photo of the two of us, I have to resort to the Selfie. I have to push passed my repulsion of this fad on a regular basis, otherwise there would be zero photographic evidence of my existence. …