I recalled this episode of Friends today. One, because I am a huge fan and two, because the content is so relatable – now more than before
The characters were divided in this episode, by their individual salary. Monica, Ross and Chandler all had stable and well paid jobs. Joey, Phoebe and Rachel did not. They survived on low paying or part time work, as and when it came by.
All 6 of them attend a rather expensive restaurant. The more affluent friends go all out and order food with confidence. The others, ordered waters, soups and side salads. Cut to the part where the bill arrives; it is suggested they split it equally…a heated and honest discussion begins. It’s awkward. It’s real. It basically boils down to this quote:
‘I just never think of money as an issue’. – Ross
‘That’s coz you have it!’. – Rachel
I first watched this episode when I was at school, then in several reruns since. In my 20s, I earned more money than my friends. In my early 30s, I watched that role slowly reverse. Today, I earn a modest but respectable sod all. I live this financial divide daily. It’s awkward. It’s real. It takes some navigating.
I am surrounded by financially successful and secure people. High salaries and savings accounts are commonplace. Jetting to Paris for a city break or shelling out the big bucks, for last minute tickets to an exclusive gig, is no issue. Marc Jacobs handbag teamed with a pair of Prada sunglasses, as they slum it around the supermarket, to top up their party food for weekend guests…you get the idea.
Let’s pop here. Meet there. Few cocktails then dinner. Airbnbs, hotels, commutes and astronomical parking charges…it goes on and on. Even driving 80 miles to a friends house, with my supermarket bought alcohol, to sit and chill has already cost a bomb in fuel. It’s not over yet. We are not going out to dinner, we are ordering in. As I select my food based on price, I am reassured that everything will be fine, as we are splitting the bill equally…priceless!
I used to ride with it years ago. Because I could. Now I just can’t. My piggy bank has dust on it! The financial gap, brings a social one alongside. There is no competing, because there is no competition. I have less money than a student and all of my friends have been students. They know what it’s like to have no money and have zero desire to go back there. I also have less hang ups about telling people I’m broke. Have a great time! Send me a pic!
As a parent, the entry fees and lesson costs are crippling. Parking and on site refreshments need to be factored in. Charges per person, per activity soon mount up. No swanky night life here. I’m in a field, picking pumpkins – for a small fee – per person, per pumpkin, per shitting moment I’m here!
In the summer, my husband and I went out to dinner, with our daughter and my brother in law. We skipped starters, skipped deserts and kept to one soft drink each. I was feeling a little smug, before the bill arrived, thinking we had played it smart. Not smart enough. The look of panic on my husbands face, as he tapped the card machine, was evident. We could pay it but it meant something else, would have to fall by the wayside.
I am sure many people live like this. I also know that many people, have no idea that this way of life is a thing.
Real friends and family don’t tend to care about the money divide. They will always find a way, to make the numbers work. I have people in my life, that don’t care about the contents of my purse. Just as well really – I have £1.80 and two receipts!