Brother and sister
Together we’ll make it through
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you’ve been hurting but I’ve been waiting to be there for you
And I’ll be there just helping you out
Whenever I can
That is the dream. The reality is somewhat different.
My darling brother – I wish you knew I would drop everything, at any hour, to be there for you. I wish you knew, that I have needed you to do the same for me.
I wish it was natural. I wish our shared DNA, meant that we would be intrinsically linked. No matter the problem, the person or complaint; we would have each other.
We could talk. We would laugh… even when the situation was far from funny. We would share everything. Our relationship was strong enough to take anything. You would happily come to my house and share a plate of food. I could happily show up at yours, and help myself to the contents of your fridge.
We don’t do any of those things and my heart breaks a little more, with each passing year.
I carried you around as a baby. I lifted you high so you could feel like you were flying, as a toddler. We watched movies together as children but our respective teen years and very different upbringing, placed a void between us, that to date has not been overcome.
We don’t talk, not about anything real anyway. We probably have so much to say but too many years of nothing stand in our way. The promised family meeting has yet and will never come to pass. I think where we are, is where we will forever be.
The ‘New Year, New Start’ shite never brings forth a change. Time is passing, nothing is changing but putting this in writing does one thing…
It tells my little brother what I had hoped for us. Tells him what I remembered about us. If nothing else, if he didn’t hear it, feel it or know it…he was and is loved by me.
I’m so proud to be your sister. Your pain is mine. Your joy is mine. If I could protect you from hurt, I would gladly bear it so you never had to. I am no saint. I am not special. I am your sister, you just never knew what that meant…until now.
Xx