On Saturday 28th October, one of my favourite actors, Matthew Perry, passed away. As a Friends fan from the beginning, this was a horribly sad loss.
Now I know how people like me are viewed. “How can you miss someone you have never met?”. “How can you be upset by the death of someone you don’t even know?”.
Because you can.
Just like music artists you grow up listening to, their songs become woven into your memories. Milestone moments are marked by the people you were with and by the songs that were playing at the time. Actors, especially the ones that were on TV, year after year playing the same character you let into your life every week, oddly become honorary friends.
His character, Chandler Bing was a fan favourite. The funny one. The relatable one. The one you always rooted for. And his sarcasm was off the charts funny. From day one, from that first episode in 1994, while I was still at school, I was hooked.
My parents bought me the VHS tapes for Christmas presents and I’m almost embarrassed by the amount of time I spent watching them. My teens and early 20s were difficult to navigate but with the welcome addition of these 20-something characters, the daily grind was somehow a little bit easier.
Watching a few episodes of Friends would turn any bad day around and I still love the program to this very day. It was light viewing for a lighter time. As an ensemble cast they were stellar but Matthew Perry for me, made the series.
His battles with addiction has since become public knowledge but during the show’s run, you’d never have known. Even the drastic weight fluctuations between seasons, just didn’t pull the focus away from his comedy genius. On that stage, he was flawless.
Knowing how much I loved Chandler growing up, my brother bought me Matthew Perry’s autobiography for Christmas last year. He was also the first person to message me, shortly after 5am the day he died. Laying in bed that morning, while it was still dark, I just hoped it was a hoax.
I never understood how someone so talented and funny with the world at his feet, could have such inner demons hunting him down. Thinking that he had turned a corner – I was upset but not shocked. For years it looked like it was only a matter of time, before the drink and or the drugs would overcome him but as the years passed I thought, maybe he’d be ok after all.
Friends was and still is one of the most successful sitcoms ever. I’m sad that people watching it nowadays, pull it apart as if it was some out of touch, homophobic, diversity shy, attempt to be funny.
It was none of those things. It was light when needed, heavy when necessary and always raised a smile. It wasn’t political or complicated. It was 6 people going about their lives and taking us along for the ride. Their jobs, relationships, successes, embarrassments, bereavements and heartbreaks were ours too. And for that I want to say thank you to everyone who contributed to Friends.
As for Matthew Perry, it’s well documented that he wanted to be known for more than just being Chandler M Bing and he is. Writing his story, raising awareness about addiction and helping others as they battled with theirs, will be his legacy. But for me and millions of others, his character on Friends was larger than life and his light on that show should never be ignored, or reduced to a footnote. For many going through the ups and downs of life, when we switched on our TVs and laughed at those amazing one-liners, everything was just better. He didn’t know it then but he was helping people get through their day, long before it became his calling.
I will miss you Matthew Perry. Thank you for being you, for the light and the laughs. You were one of a kind.
The Rembrandts – I’ll be there for you