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The Bin Raider

Just had a lovely week off with the hubby.  A break from our routine was definitely in order.  No Facebook worthy holiday to report.  No Instagram picture of the two of us, clinking champagne filled glasses, at a spa.  We just had 6 consecutive days of breathing. It was wonderful.

Our daughter’s awful night-time routine was not an issue, as it didn’t matter how late we went to bed.  Early starts were taken in our stride, as we had nowhere to be and no set dress code was required.  We could go with the flow.  We did the usual stuff.  Went to the beach.  Went shopping.  Visited an aquarium with our fish-loving baby girl.  Carried out some DIY.  Bought some stuff.  Threw out some stuff.  Obviously partying hard…

Despite me knowing my other half for years, he still surprises me.  I never knew he was such a bargain hunter.  I know all women are supposed to love a bargain but I’m not all women.  I am a very snobby shopper – I shop for things I need, usually with a mental or physical list.   I never pitch up at a sales rail, due to the fact that they are messy and my brain just can’t process that.   I like neat shops, not undercover car boot sales.   My husband however…

We went to a supermarket for Calpol.  Whilst meandering round the store a tannoy announcement could be heard.  Free gift for everyone that goes to the back of the store by the bakery department!.  I was about to launch into a sarcastic tirade of how sad I thought this was to my husband – only to see his ass as he skipped ‘Michael McIntyre style’ to the bakery!  You’ve got to be kidding me!  “Free gift!” he shouted back.  “Free gift!”

I followed him like a stalker, because for the next 20 minutes, I was not owning up to marry that!  I hung back and watched my husband and 10 middle-aged women, take part in a cooking presentation.  Seriously!  Is This happening?!  His free gift was a cucumber garnish tool worth £4.99.  He also bought, a set of steak knives and a slicer that cost him £40!  My man totally fell for the sales pitch!  Pretty special all round considering he hates salad!

WE CAME IN HERE FOR CALPOL!

Next we went into IKEA for a blind and a foot stool.  I’m thinking 15 minutes in and out. It took 15 minutes for him to decide between a trolley or a bag!!  Then it began…. ‘oooooo darling what about….’

Larger glasses? – no
A new dinner service? – we don’t need one
A mini whisk for your latte? – no thank you
It will make your coffee nice and frothy? – it’s fine, I’m good
It will be like having one from a coffee-house? – no really I’m ok using a spoon
Spoons!  We need spoons!!!!!!!

I left him there by the spoons, at this point, I had visions of us achieving nothing.  On reaching the checkout, after all this excitement, no blind and no foot stool graced our trolley.  Hubby had picked up an extension lead and his spoons.  There was a Bargain of the Week table close by, which he sprinted to, only to shuffle back disappointed at its contents.  Then his attention turned to the discounted frozen meatballs.  He slung a bag onto the counter, only to put it back, when I reminded him that we were not going straight home after this visit.  He looked like a toddler that had been told off at this point.

I married him and will be spending the rest of my life with him so I need to know….  “Darling, are you going to be one of those bin raiders?  You know, the people who pull over next to skips on the roadside, because they think they have seen something handy?”  He just smiled ‘Well maybe, depends what’s in there’.

When you are dating ladies, find this stuff out!  Knowledge is power.  It will be very hard to maintain my inner posh goddess, whilst sitting adjacent to an 8 yard skip, watching my husband riffle through landfill in search of a bargain!

 

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