I have had three retail jobs in my career. A Saturday job as a teenager, with a manager who seemed to despise me; I was also an Assistant Manager in 2011 and my new current position. The main bulk of my career has been largely office based. Most people pick a lane and stay in it but my career path has been somewhat scrappy in parts and I have had to just get a job, at times.
Retail is not for the faint hearted. People assume it’s easy or you just get paid to stand there but much like any other role, there is pressure, stress, KPIs (Key Performance Indicators), difficult customers and tech issues. It can also be fun, if you have a good team. With a job that’s customer led – if they are happy and in a good mood, you’ll have a better day too. Sometimes a wonderful selection of customers, is all you need to take your mind off the absolutely shocking choice of in-store music, that we all have to smile through.
Despite two decades passing since I first tentatively stepped out on a shop floor – very little has changed. Age has afforded me something as a youngster, I was never given – respect. When I made a mistake as a teenager, it wasn’t met with compassion or kindness from colleagues or customers but now that I’m older, it’s very different. Colleagues are supportive, will jump in and help, customers (on the whole) are patient and even share tales of their retail shenanigans whilst they wait.
I see it with younger members of staff now. Customers are very quick with the tutting and eye rolling. However, mistakes and delays at work have nothing to do with youth – It’s just life. We have all been new at something before and we have all had bad days so stop tutting and just breathe!
It’s not easy for me to be in a customer facing role. I do it and often project a very confident demeanour but that’s just survival mode. Some customers treat me like any other human being, some chat to me like an old friend, others appear nervous and a handful have politely but purposefully chosen to be served by someone else. I take all that in my stride. Being born with facial paralysis means that by this stage in my life, I have seen it all. There are days where I will position my hair to hide myself from people who (I know from experience) will not treat me kindly but most of the time I just do my thing.
My store usually serves a more mature clientele. Ladies of 40 fabulous years and older will be seen milling about our shop, seven days a week. I’m patient and kind and when a customer is challenging, I think of my mum and how I know she would want to be treated. The stories I hear every day from ladies from all walks of life are remarkable. From travel, careers, children, marriage, illness and loss – I hear it all and I never forget that for some of our customers, I may be the only person they have talked to all week.
It’s strange, being back at work, knowing my time is finite. I mean, we all have a certain number of days left but the majority of us have no idea how many there are or are not even conscious of the quiet ticking of time. I am. My clock is loud, every single day.
I am not in a career that I will be able to continue as my sight loss progresses. There are no accessibility options for retail staff. There will simply come a time where I will have to walk away and only I will know that. That’s a heavy thought to carry but carry it I do. No one at my work knows about my impending blindness. They probably take one look at me and assume I’ve paid my dues. However, that’s not how it works.
On a positive note, I don’t get stressed at work. Mounting queues of customers, endless returns and exchanges, and temperamental tills are all just part of the gig, My manager will occasionally ask me to do something that would have been an eye roll moment years ago but I guess I just don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. I sing in the stock room and I crack jokes all day long. Because right now, I can and I love to be funny. There will come a time, I won’t be able to and that will definitely not be as funny.
Every week I walk to catch my train, take any seat I please, listen and laugh along to a podcast blaring in my ears while I watch the world whizz by, feeling safe. I get off at the town station, pick up a takeaway coffee and continue to walk to my place of work. I walk fast and confidently – feeling very Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors! Coffee in one hand and bag in the other. In that brief moment, I look and feel like everyone else. I exchange pleasantries with people I see most weeks as I hurry by. Employment is so much more than just a cheque. It’s about feeling part of something.
I love being able to help, guide, show and care for people. One day I won’t be able to run around like I do now. I won’t be able to slip effortlessly, in and out of crowds and completely relax with headphones in.
Why do I still put myself out there in a customer facing role?
Because as tough as it is for me, I’m not ready to give all that up yet.