Ever heard the expression “Out of the mouths of babes?”.
Often used when a child makes a somewhat brutal and honest comment. In their mind they have made a wise and frank observation. To an adult with well built boundaries, filters and manners – these observations can be hilarious, cringe-worthy and often rude.
There is nothing quite like being insulted by your child several times before 9am in the morning. It can really set me up for a successful, confident and productive day. This morning my complexion, hair and mildly offensive morning breath, were top billing on my child’s list of brutal and unsolicited feedback. As someone who is all too aware of their rosacea, especially my morning face sans makeup up, it touched a nerve. I was eager to move on but my daughter wanted us both to look in the mirror so she could show me my imperfections, as I clearly looked confused.
“You don’t look very pretty, you should wear earrings, that will make you look pretty.”
Oh don’t worry my darling, as soon as I have brushed my teeth, applied my foundation with a trowel and brushed my bed hair – I’m breaking out the jewels!
My daughter is rather bossy and is definitely pushing buttons and asserting her authority on the daily. .
“It’s my turn to talk!”
Yes dear, it’s always your turn to talk. I was just asking your Dad if he wanted a coffee.
“You’re not listening to me! You didn’t say please!”
Funny thing is I always say please, she would know that if she listened to me…oh the irony.
The endless bargaining of “I will do this if you do that” or “five more minutes…”. What happened to asking your child to do something and it actually just getting done!
We are in the process of upgrading our daughter’s toddler bed to a cabin bed. She is very excited about the prospect of climbing a ladder to reach her bed. We were discussing duvets and I suggested that I would buy her a Frozen duvet set. My baby girl is a huge Elsa fan.
“No Mummy, if you buy me a Frozen duvet, I will be cold!”
I chose not to argue with this comment. Don’t really want to head straight back into the “You’re not listening to me!” loop.
Other people are not in the clear either. My mum, my friends and even my landlord, have been on the receiving end of my daughter’s cute but firm rebuke. Mostly for using the word stupid, not in direct criticism of a person, more in complaint of a situation.
“You can’t say stupid, that’s an unkind word!”
Wearing shoes in the house is a particular bugbear of my girl. I was very embarrassed when my landlord was sternly reminded of the house rules, during a routine inspection. Rules that my daughter flouts daily but hey she has bigger things on her mind…
Last week she was on my bed getting very upset. I sat with her through the incoherent hysterics and finally she was calm enough to tell me what was happening.
“When will my wings work? When will I be able to fly like a real fairy? I have no magic, when will I get my magic?”
Stumped and silently hoping for the “Where do babies come from?” question, I managed to pull some kind of explanation out of my head. However my daughter was far from impressed, when I advised, that we only get our wings and magic in our dreams when we are asleep.
Honesty may be the best policy but it’s definitely not the easiest. It keeps living in lockdown lively and interesting though.