Last week was a rude awakening. After six weeks of sleepy late mornings and late nights, the summer holidays are officially over.
I loved every minute of it! The beach days, adventure playgrounds, play dates, sailing, animal feeding, wildlife parks, bowling, zip lines, swimming, fairgrounds and way too much ice cream; the summers when children are young are awesome!
Having a degenerative disease is a total bitch but there is one positive; I never take anything for granted and I throw myself into every day and every feat like a giant child. Every sunset, every fairground ride, every activity that I can still fully participate in brings me so much joy and I say YES!
All the time I can, I’m gonna!
My other love is photography. I have never been one to revel in front of the camera but I do love being behind one. The thrill of capturing those special moments is wonderful. I can’t lie, most of what I do now, in part, is banking. Banking memories and taking beautiful photos.
It’s weird taking photos knowing there will come a time when I can’t see them. I keep doing it because it makes me happy right now. Over time, photos are truly appreciated and bring joy to others. My family and friends will continue to look at all the pictures I have taken as the years go by. To know I was there and I captured those images and memories for them, is comforting to me. On the flip side, seeing my wonderful husband’s photos that include me, is not such a pleasure. All the time I have vision, I’d rather not have pictorial evidence, that my clothes don’t fit and I should really lay off the cheese!
Spending six weeks as a family with no routine and going with the flow has been amazing. We put a pin in all the stress and worry of today’s world and embraced the innocence of being carefree. I learned a few things. I can’t gracefully climb onto a zipline without looking drunk. I’m awful at bowling and my 40 something head can no longer handle spinning around. Twisters, Waltzers, even roundabouts, leave me needing to sit down somewhere quiet and compose myself for a few minutes. As my daughter runs ahead ready for the next vertigo inducing nightmare, I scan the area for refreshments. The offer of ice cream always wins an opportunity to press pause. My child is happy thinking that mummy is super awesome, while I’m just relieved to be stationary; sipping my latte wondering where my fearlessness went.
In my head I’m like “yeah let’s do this!”. My body however is keen to interject with a cautionary reminder “Go steady dear, you’ll get dizzy”. I used to love getting dizzy when I was a kid, now that same feeling makes me feel queasy and just reminds me that menopause is looming.
Now my daughter is back in her routine, the summer homework project is in the bag and the reading challenge completed. With brand new shiny shoes (with hearts on them) we are running back to school. It’s adorable to watch the children embrace and show each other their new lunch bags and talk about all the fun times they had during the holidays. The parents are a happy mixture of glowing and wired in equal measure and as I watch my little girl stroll into her new classroom independently, I’m bursting with pride.
Back at home, I clear up the whirlwind of mess, inevitably created by the routine of trying to get out of the door on time. With a clear kitchen and a load of washing on, I sit down with a hot cup of coffee. It only took me about three minutes to realise…
Wow it’s quiet, I miss her already.
A quick glance at the clock reveals, despite my energetic productivity first thing, it’s only 9am. I’ve got the whole day to myself with no plans. Hello September, I really do need to make one of those plan things. Someone soon is going to ask me “What do you do all day?”. At this very moment, I have to be honest, I have no idea.