‘You will be too much for some people. Those aren’t your people.’
Great quote. I can totally relate. I am currently evaluating this very issue.
When I’m chasing and getting nothing in return. When I’m always the first to text or call. When I will go, to whatever lengths, to catch up and receive some tepid “Can I let you know nearer the time?” – I need to pull back. I’m even the sucker that says “Let me know what dates and times are good for you?” and still get nothing. My heart is giving me all the excuses:
They’re busy. They have kids. Maybe they have not got your message. Maybe they forgot.
Who knows.
Then the bullshit quotes, that go round on social media:
‘True friends won’t grow apart, even if they don’t talk everyday’.
‘A true friend, is the one you can go months without talking to but when you reconnect – nothing has changed’.
‘Best friends are people you know, you don’t need to talk to, every single day. You don’t even need to talk to each other for weeks but when you do, it’s like you never stopped talking’.
Nothing like a social media quote, to encourage people, to half-ass their real relationships! Just because you do, doesn’t mean you should.
You can’t always chit chat with your mates everyday. No adult, including myself, is expecting that. It’s not the daily I’m talking about. It’s when the weeks turn to months, the calls and texts are one sided. The invites stop and their interest in your life has disappeared – that’s when you realise:
You need new people.
Lately I have been keeping busy. Embracing my own company. It is tough but ultimately easier, than the excuses and disinterest. I have stopped chasing and feel much happier for it. I reached out to an online community of Mums this week. I was shocked, relieved and heartbroken, that so many Mums felt like me. They were alone most days, sometimes for weeks. These amazing ladies aren’t neighbours, established friends or family. They are strangers, that I will probably never meet but their support was genuine and present.
I’m not quite waving my ‘You got this!’ flag or wearing my ‘Attitude of Gratitude’ T-shirt’ but I am starting to accept a few things. I need to let go of some people and/or my expectations of them. I need to just keep on keeping on. Shift my focus. Live and let live. Learn to be happy with just me.
Half of me is pumped and giving myself an air-five. The other half is taking a box of wine to bed.
Will keep you posted…