My Daughter attended her first birthday party this week. Her friend from Pre-School was turning 4 and wanted to do that very thing, in the company of her friends. It was adorable. My girl was so excited. Present in hand, we made our way to the venue.
Yes, I said venue. Private room, catering, music, photos; all within the comfort of a rather large and very colourful indoor play centre. It was very well done to be honest. The kids loved it, which is all that really matters. I left my anxiety-ridden-germaphobic-headspace at the door and mingled like a normal person.
It took my daughter a while to get settled. Luckily my husband was on hand, to navigate the slides and climbing apparatus, when she had a sudden crisis of confidence. There were times I couldn’t look. Times I imagined I was elsewhere. I’m a worrier and the possible injuries, that lurked around every corner, were too much for me.
After play time, came the lunch and cake. I loved to see all the children chat and laugh. So young and innocent. The music playing, took me back to my youth. The summer I left school, my first alcoholic drink and my first tentative sessions in student bars and pubs;
- Rednex – Cotton Eye Joe – 1995
- Aqua – Barbie Girl – 1997
- DJ Otzi – Hey Baby – 2000
Ah…those hazy, lazy times of 16, through to 21 years old. Thankfully my music taste was and is, far more sophisticated but the memories, these rather questionable tracks evoke are pure gold.
Lunch was a buffet of veggies and dip, nuggets, pizza, sandwiches and chips; then came the lollipops and birthday cake. Each child was given little bag of candy treats and a slice of cake on leaving. Very sweet.
I did try and crack the mum circle but never made it passed, the smile and obligatory “Hi”. My daughter was invited to the party by one of her friends, her mum never speaks to me. Today wasn’t to be the exception. I tried but it was polite but clear, that she had zero interest in my chit chat. Quick and painful but seeing the children whip about the play centre, playing chase and hide and seek, was enough for me.
I had a challenging toddler group, earlier this week, which didn’t help my confidence either. 90 minutes of no one talking to me, as I played with my little girl. I made eye contact, smiled and took part in all the group craft activities but still, no one seemed keen to get into a conversation. I eyed the room and watched small groups of mums, laughing and talking together. I admire how they get to that stage. I’m always just on the outside. I had one last chance during the goodbye song. All the parents and toddlers, take a seat on the floor in a circle. I watched the circle form and decided to sit next to a fellow mum, who had just taken her seat. As I sat alongside, she promptly got up and moved to the other side of the circle. I was embarrassed and quickly retreated to the coat area. I checked my phone, an anxious person’s safety move and pretended not to notice or care. What’s wrong with me? I pushed that line of questioning down and made my way back to the circle to watch my girl sing. She is so beautiful.
At the end, we quickly made our way out into the car park. I was grateful for that lungful of cold crisp air. Tough crowd. For a church group, I didn’t expect that. I will keep going as I’m not there for me. I will keep going as long as my daughter wants to. Her happiness is everything and it’s nice to see her develop a social life.
We have another party to go to next week. My daughter has an adorable best friend. Her mother is very kind and always chats to me, whenever we see each other. It is so nice when someone makes conversation with me. We chat easily and freely. In a sea of groups and cliques, after years of clubs and classes, I finally heard the phrase,”Hi Hun, how are you?”
I resisted the temptation to look behind me, as for once, I know she was talking to me. To me!! I can’t wait to hug this woman but I will… wouldn’t want to scare her off.