I am so proud of my little girl. She’s learning so much, so quickly. Talking away all day. Running around and full of life. It’s beautiful. She makes me a better person. She makes me feel like I can do anything!
She is very bossy and running a very tight ship! Her words, are still a little hit and miss but she’s got her deadline sorted. Whatever it is, it has to happen now!!!
She has the Broken Record technique down. She will repeat her request until satisfied, distracted or asleep.
- Mummy Mummy Mummy
- Milk milk milk
- Dummy dummy dummy
- More more more
- Garden garden garden
- Out out out
- Car car car
You get the idea. She’s not afraid of taking me by the hand and dragging me to her chosen destination. Her cute little hands, tugging on mine as she yells “Come on!”
‘Sit Down!’ ‘Get Up!’ ‘I’m ready!’
I have to bring my A game daily, to keep up with my tiny taskmaster.
There are times, when I have to remind her, that I am the adult and cannot live exactly as her timetable allows. This isn’t met very favourably. The first of many daily tantrums will ensue. Usually starting with a verse of growling and teeth grinding, followed by a chorus of pinching and scratching. Then the crying begins, as we take it to the bridge and the remix features the sulking standoff!
It’s a matter of pride now. She ain’t backing down. She doesn’t want her teeth brushed and will remain on the floor, screaming about it, until I’m 100 years old! Well, that’s her plan but we have stuff to do. Talking to her firmly, explaining the detail of good oral care, is redundant. Advising her of a possible reward structure, I would be happy to put put in place, when she stops pissing me off – isn’t resonating with her either. She’s two.
So today, I will settle for a two-minute, suck of the tooth brush and a ‘better luck next time’.
Toddler – 1. Mummy – 0
Biscuits, biscuits, biscuits. That means, she immediately needs crackers.
She won’t let me feed her anymore, as she is convinced, she can feed herself. The fact that she walks around, wearing her food, seems to go unnoticed.
The summer is upon us. My girl wants to go out in the garden. We have a gazebo with full UVA and UVB protection. A slide, a trampoline, balls galore, hula hoop, bubble guns and bowling. I chase her around the room, coating her in SPF 50. She has her hat. Everything is ready. We are out! I pour some juice. I grab my sunglasses. My ass is about to touch the patio furniture when…
“Inside. Inside. Inside. Bin”
She wants to go indoors and watch Bing. No amount of leaping around like a twat, playing with the bubble guns and balls can persuade her. She’s thrown her hat in the flower bed and fucked off!
Ok then.
We sit and have pretend tea. We draw together. We build together. We play hide and seek, all the way until dinner. Then the chase begins. She likes to have one bite, then embark on a baby beep test round the lounge. It’s a process.
Bath and bedtime are about as funny as piles! Baths takes me and my husband to complete. Our girl loves water, just only on her hands and feet. I will leave out the details, of the invariable shit-storm, that is changing the nappy of a stroppy toddler. Then there is bed time. You would think she would be tired. You would think, she would fall sleeping into my arms, after a warm milk, bedtime story and cuddle. You would think, after a full 12 hours of manic, she would be pooped. You would be wrong.
I’m pooped and falling asleep. My day ends exactly how it started…
Mummy Mummy Mummy!