After a great deal of thought and a massive amount of denial, I decided to bite the bullet and arrange life insurance.
Most people my age, already have this in place, alongside their mortgage. I’m still effectively, one step up from a student, living in rented accommodation with zero savings. I have some random pensions, from previous jobs, that are probably worth next to nothing. My estate is looking pretty dismal right now.
I have never had much money. I have been shuffling along, on the bones of my ass, since I was teenager. A mixture of debt, redundancies, poor financial relationships and low paying jobs, have escorted me to this destitute position. It’s all on me. I made those choices, had those jobs, spent cash that wasn’t exactly surplus and had those relationships. As touching as that all self-deprecation is, I have to make a plan.
My parents have never had money. My brother and I will never receive any kind of inheritance. They don’t even own their own home. I witnessed their struggle and wanted better for myself. I wanted to make sure, I didn’t end up in the same position as them. They were and are trapped, with no financial security or choices. I am ashamed to admit, that I am also flying that same flag.
This week has been another reflective period for me. This month represents a 10 year anniversary – nothing romantic I’m afraid. In February 2008, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. It’s an inflammatory bowel disease, similar to its close relation, Crohn’s disease. Both are invisible and incurable illnesses and both really suck. UC effects the large intestine. CD affects all of the digestive tract. Each person is affected differently and the diseases can be mild, moderate or severe. Both conditions are usually diagnosed in young people. Most cases, being discovered in individuals, between 15 and 30 years old.
After 10 years of having UC, you are considered to be at a slightly higher risk of developing bowel cancer. 15% more likely I believe. That’s a sobering thought. Despite believing that I have paid my dues medically, I know that life is unpredictable. So I made the call.
Arranging the cover was quick and easy but rather intense. So many conditions and ailments discussed. Made me think about my own mortality more than ever but now it’s done. I don’t have savings, pensions or property but should the worst happen, my little girl will have choices. If I am no longer here to care for her, I know that my husband will now have the means to make it work. I’m just glad I don’t have to think about it anymore.
Being a grown up is bloody hard. I still feel the same as I did when I was 18. My reflection has changed somewhat but time has stood still for my inner self. I still think 10 years ago is 1998. I get really freaked out, when Oasis appears, on the vintage music channel. Time is truly marching on. After all that life insurance doom and gloom, I need a little pick-me-up.
I am feeling nostalgic. Where is my 90s Dance Compilation CD? Anyone know if I can still get a Peach Bacardi Breezer?