My family has just recently returned from a short break on the coast. It was so lovely to get away from the daily grind and have a complete change of scenery. The weather was perfect and my daughter got to experience some more firsts on holiday too.. It can be tough when part of me wants to keep her close and wrapped up in cotton wool forever – but as she grows, she needs to explore and I need to learn to embrace the change.
My daughter watched a performance of Beauty and the Beast, Panto style and got a chance to get up on stage to have her picture taken with the cast. To see her happy and making awesome memories was so lovely and I did shed a tear of pride to be part of that moment. She is getting more adventurous at Fairgrounds and wanted to go on one of my favourite childhood rides, The Sizzler. I have a newfound respect for my mum as I honestly don’t know how she coped, watching my Dad and I go on every hectic ride possible growing up. With her Dad sitting beside her, our girl was giggling away as the ride got faster and faster. I waved from the side, took photos and took comfort in the fact that my sunnies shielded her from my tears. Towards the end, I went and grabbed a coffee and sat down opposite my parents with my back to the ride waiting for it to be over. I was so happy and proud of her but the dollop of fear that accompanies parents at these places was a little overwhelming. When did I become so old? She went on a small rollercoaster and had her first go on the dodgems – she was one happy little lady when we left. I think that was, in part, due to the warm sugared donuts we bought on exit.
My husband took our daughter swimming, the pool had a viewing area but wow, that was hot – they could have cracked a window at least! Back in the day, parents could sit around the pool on loungers and watch their children swim and play and take an optional dip should the need arise.. Now you either swim and get involved or you don’t. Sitting in the sweltering viewing area, I could barely see them in the pool so I took out my phone so I could use the zoom function. I didn’t think that binoculars would be considered couth so I thought I was being clever. I was so embarrassed when a lifeguard, half my age, told me off for using my phone so I decided to speak up. The lifeguard had assumed I was taking pictures, which I would never do in a public pool so I toddled off to reception and decided to come out as a VIP to the reception staff.
The lovely lady on reception was very kind and appeared quite shocked when I informed her that I could not see very well and that I used my camera to zoom in so I could actually watch my husband and daughter in the pool. I offered to hand over my phone so they could verify that I was not using it inappropriately. I asked if there was somewhere else I could go and watch my family. After a manager was called and a little discussion took place, I was basically told no. There was no place for me and I could not be accommodated. It begins…
I have heard countless stories like that and worse. I guess I was naively hoping that I had a little more time, before they started to actively impact me. Luckily, my husband and daughter came up to the glass window of the viewing area to see me and played in the nearest pool to me for a while so I got to watch some of their play time. After a while I left them to it and sat on the beach, grateful to have seen what I did but some sadness did cloud what was another absolutely beautiful day. There would come a time where I would be told no again and I would miss out. I would miss what others just have. It will have to be something that I accept rather than be the person who is being accepted and accommodated. Rules are rules and I get that, I guess I am going to have to get some thicker skin and a degree of acceptance that I am going to have to sit some things out going forward.
My mind wandered later. I wonder if they thought I was lying, I mean, I didn’t have a cane or a guide dog, what if they thought I was full of it? What if they did? Does it matter?
The next day we explored another pool. I was thrilled to see that this one had seating around the pool enabling parents to watch and be more hands on as and when necessary. My heart smiled – we’ll come here next time instead. I don’t need to miss out, I just need to find a better place with better facilities.
Lots of sleeping in and late nights was definitely the theme of the holiday. As a result we often found ourselves still on the beach at sunset. I have always loved a beautiful sunset but I don’t watch them like I used to as I am all too aware of the dangers of the sun on my eyes but I am still able to take amazing photos of them, they didn’t disappoint.
We took our daughter dancing one night and just like her mama, she loves having a bop on the dancefloor and listening to the live bands do their thing. She took me by the hand and led me straight to the front and we stayed there dancing for ages. We walked home in the dark with nothing but the full moon and her glowing butterfly wand to guide us.
It’s been a great holiday. I offered up another thank you to God in the still of the night while everyone slept. I am forever thankful to still be able to fully participate and appreciate all of these little moments that are building my little girl’s childhood. I pray that I have many years of memories to make and see and the blessing of being completely present in them.
Back at home, surrounded by washing, all I could think of was booking another holiday. Not long to go now though and the summer holidays will be here – I guess I could look into last minute holiday options online…just for research purposes of course.