Motherhood & Parenting

Schools Out

Emotional day this week, as my little girl started Pre-School.  We moved her away from her nursery, for all the usual and sensible parenting reasons.  Closer to home, good reviews and a perfect location for Primary School in the future.

Her last day of nursery, came to an end and the tears that flowed were mine.  My daughter loved this place, she had so many friends here.  I’m on first name terms, with all the staff and key workers; they have been so wonderful to my daughter.  In those tentative first weeks, following my Post Natal Depression and recovery, the women in the nursery were so kind and supportive.  As my daughter gained confidence and strength, so did I.  After 18 months of seeing the same smiling staff and the same beautiful children, it was time to move on.  The staff are used to the children leaving and the kids seem oblivious, as they fearlessly take on the next stage, in their stride.  I was crushed.

My daughter was happy there but the location was wrong.  My husband and I were thinking and planning long term; moving schools was the right thing to do.  As we said goodbye, Early Years Journal in hand, I cried.  Hugging all the staff, that had become almost friends, was so bittersweet.  They had given my daughter so much and helped me more than I realised.  They gave me the confidence and reassurance every week, that my girl was amazing and that as parents, we were getting it right.

The Pre-School taster sessions went well but I was still fraught with anxiety.  What if she hates it?  What if the children aren’t as nice?  Will she make new friends?  Will she be able to cope with leaving her old friends behind?  As an adult, moving on is part of life but to a toddler, leaving anything, anyone, anywhere you love, is the end of the world.

The new Pre-School is close to home and has a Primary School on the same site.   We wanted to be able to walk our girl to school and to build friendships, that she would have in place, when Primary School started.   My husband and I fell in love with this school.  The staff, the ethos and the grounds were so beautiful.  Each room contained a positive and uplifting message in scripture.  They have wonderful outdoor areas, woodlands and a farm, that they regularly explore.  This was what we wanted for our daughter.  We could picture her flourishing here, we just needed to start.

The first day was a steep learning curve for me.  Signing in, selecting a lunch option, where to put bags, water bottles and collecting the official uniform, that I had ordered the week before.  Children everywhere, smiling teachers and parents rushing in and out.  It was all blur really as my only thought, was my little angel, who was clinging tightly to me.  She kept kissing my hand and telling me I needed to stay with her.  We talked, we hugged; some of her new friends from the taster sessions, came over to reassure her she would be ok.  She reluctantly let go of me and went into the arms of her key worker, who was going to show her the garden.  Her little bottom lip was quivering and her eyes were blinking back the tears as she called out to me.  

The harder she tried to be so brave, the harder I felt the tug at my heart.  It was unbearable.  After a few of my own tears in Reception, I made my way home.  One of the staff called me as promised, to let me know she was fine and I went about my day.

Standing at the school gates for the first time, come 3pm, felt so strange.  I couldn’t wait to see my beautiful girl, to hold her and tell her how proud I was.  Before I knew it, she was back with me, covered in stickers, with a big smile on her face.

How was your first day my darling?  “Mummy it was amazing!”.

Hearing that, was everything.

 

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