As I bid farewell to November, my lovely autumnal birthday month; I turn to December with excitement and nervousness. Our Christmas tree is up and fairy lights inside and out are aglow. As we mark our last Christmas in the home we became a family in, everything feels bittersweet. Right now I’m focusing very much on our Christmas together and trying to remain mentally strong in the face of an uncertain future.
Our official section 21 eviction notice was served to me the day before my birthday. Side note, I prefer chocolates and flowers! I smiled and was gracious to the gentleman who had drawn the short straw to deliver such news. It wasn’t his fault. The fact that it wasn’t mine either, didn’t make the weight of that envelope any lighter. As my daughter danced around the doorway, we kept our vocabulary cheerful and our smiles peppered the conversation; as though we were two neighbours discussing the weather. As I closed the door, I took a moment to compose myself and took my stoic self through to the kitchen and prepared dinner like any other night.
My birthday was low key but lovely. I was determined to have a few more days of normal before coming face to face with the contents of that envelope.
Yesterday I tackled it. There was no way around it. We have been looking for alternative rental accommodation for months to no avail. With demand far outstripping supply, it’s very much a losing battle. Christmas is now around the corner, taking the rental market into hibernation. Looking everyday for just a chance or a possibility of a new home has become a sad and depressing chore.
The Citizens Advice were decent but were unable to assist and recommended I call the council. So I called them and confirmed our status. Saying it out loud made it real. The Housing Options Officer was kind but even though we are being evicted, there is no help. No housing. No apartment. No studio. Not even a list to join. She confirmed that there was only one thing they could do once our eviction date had arrived. They could arrange for a B&B somewhere in the borough. She advised that we would all share one room. We would possibly be sharing bathroom facilities with other families and there would be nowhere to prepare and cook meals.
My heart sank.
I remember asking “Is that the best you can do?”. Hearing my own desperation and disbelief, I waited for her response.
“That’s all that we have available. We have families that have been living in B&Bs for ten weeks or more. We can’t guarantee where you will be as we can’t book in advance”.
It didn’t matter about my daughters’ school. It didn’t matter that as a visually impaired person, I can’t just drive from anywhere and make it work. As a mother, I was entitled to a roof over our heads, that’s it. Knowing that there is no help coming when we do eventually lose our home is crushing. Knowing that my husband is working so hard only to get another door slammed in his face is almost unbearable.
As I look at our beautiful Christmas tree and watch my daughter and her Dad play in our lounge, it’s hard to imagine all of this will be gone in a matter of weeks. I don’t know where we will be or what our life will look like. The uncertainty makes me feel sick. The feelings of hopelessness are circling overhead and I’m battling daily to keep them away.
My husband and I are working hard to keep our life appear normal on the surface. At work, on the school run and in our daily lives – you wouldn’t think anything was wrong. We are adulting under the most pressure either one of us has ever faced. In the UK in 2022, our story is sadly not rare. I know we are not alone and many families are facing the same struggles we are. But there is no longer safety in numbers. The sad reality is there are no longer the resources out there to help all those that need it.
I don’t write this for attention but to capture this moment in time. I’m determined to forge a new path for my family despite all this mess. I will keep looking. Keep hoping. Keep believing.
As we approach the most wonderful time of the year, my rebellious heart is still hoping for a happy ending. To have a cosy home for my family, a place we are proud to call ours. That’s all I want for Christmas.
Happy Holidays!