After much debate, my husband and I, have decided to let our daughter go to a nursery. Only for one morning a week, starting officially in January. After researching the local area, checking Ofsted reports and food options – we selected our place.
They offered free taster sessions, so children can be eased into their nursery routine gently. This was a huge plus for me as I didn’t want her to feel abandoned.
The first session was great. A little too great, if I’m honest. I set her down in the room and she was off. Exploring her new surroundings and playing. She was so confident. It was bittersweet for me, as this was exactly how I wanted her to be. I also wanted her to cling to me and miss me a little too.
Second and third sessions were very different. This time she was very clingy and upset about the whole situation. She clung to me using all her mite. As she calmed, her confidence started to re-emerge. Keeping a close eye on me at all times, she stepped tentatively, back into the playroom.
Fourth and fifth sessions were an hour long and I now leave the room. She cries and reaches for me as I leave. With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I carry on walking. During these sessions, I’m in the staff room, just in case she won’t settle. It’s so hard to hear your child cry for you and deliberately not go to them. I know she will get through this. Guilt and feelings of pure cruelty, are filling my head and heart, as I wait. The staff however, were amazing and kept me updated and before long she had settled.
The look of joy in her eyes, the moment she caught a glimpse of me, was beautiful. I was coming to take her home and she knew it. Cuddling your baby is always a wonderful feeling but when they get to an age,where their tiny arms squeeze you back – it’s a heart bursting moment.
When I collected her this week, the staff were just setting up for lunch. The food looked amazing. I did smile on my way out the door thinking – yup, my girl won’t eat that!!