Marriage & Relationships

My No-Filter Husband

In any relationship, you encounter stressful situations.  Job changes, redundancies, house moves, having children and unfortunately bereavement.

My husband has done his best to support me, over the last few weeks.  The death of my Grandfather, has revealed that there are just certain things, he is shit at.

He didn’t understand why I needed to look at old photos or listen to old songs.  He wanted to know, why I was intentionally, trying to make myself feel worse.  He was also rather upset, that I was looking at old pictures of my Gramps, rather than looking around and appreciating the sunshine and scenic route he was taking that day.   

Funeral arrangements are well underway.  Caskets, chapel of rest options and embalming, are among the delightful topics of recent conversation.  My husband’s reaction to embalming:

  • It’s all fake you know.
  • They try and make him look like your Gramps but he’s still dead.
  • We’re not paying for that!

He’s a real treat isn’t he!!

My parents have chosen a wicker casket.  I was shocked at first.  I assumed everyone had a wooden one.  The thought of putting my dear Grandfather, in a moses basket for adults, was horrific.  Little did I know, that things have moved on.  Coffins can be made from wool, cardboard, wicker and traditional oak.  You can even personalise them, with a picture or design that’s bonded to your chosen material.  Ok then.

My Mum sent me a picture of the final choice and it’s beautiful.  On sharing it with my husband, I was rather shocked at his response:

‘I thought your Grandad was being incinerated?’

I calmly advised him, that the correct term was cremated.  This isn’t Game of Thrones either!  They don’t just send your body out and set fire to it.  The body is prepared, dressed and respected.  I also stressed that he needed to mute his blurt function, on the day of the funeral.  My mum wont cope with that crap!

Venue booked, music chosen, cars arranged, childcare sorted, we are all pretty much organised for the final send off.  I have prepared the eulogy and I’m praying for the strength, to read it on the day.  I’m also wondering if it’s socially acceptable, to leave my husband in the car!

 

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