I am so hungry, it’s not even funny. I would really love a cake right now, with some mash potato on the side and some cheese. Dieting is a real ugly colour on me. I think and dream about food constantly at the moment. Nothing sophisticated or classy, just dirty sexy carbohydrates.
800 calories with two litres of water for company, is the most horrific way to spend my day. Ok…that’s not exactly true. I’m aware of how naff that sounded, I’m just losing my motivation to keep going with this. My day starts early and finishes late. I have 17 hours a day to get through, with no snacks, crisps, biscuits, chocolate, carbs or wine. Rounding off this delightful ass kicking, is a shocking milk restriction! Black tea! Er no…that’s not happening.
I started well. Eating and drinking exactly as per the plan but the hunger stops me in my tracks. Therefore I deploy the only two coping mechanisms on offer:
- Keep busy
- Drink water
I am busy all the livelong day. I am so proud that I have stopped myself picking at food when bored or snacking when preparing ‘real food’ for my daughter and husband. Despite this progress, there is a small but perfectly formed problem, I’m hungry. Really hungry. I am not going to dignify the drinking water bullshit. I’m hungry. Not thirsty. I know the difference. I am not a knob!
After 3 days my resolved weakened. I drank more tea, with milk obviously and ate a few pieces of sandwich ham to curb the pangs. The way I see it, I am eating so much less than I have been for over a year so that’s where I am going to see results right…. Right??
I lost 3lb at the end of the first week. Into the second week and I have promoted nuts into my snack group. Still eating so much less than normal but like a psychopath, I’m weighing myself twice a day. Nothing is happening! I gave up chocolate, cheese and wine for nothing to be happening! I just want to stuff my face and sulk. I want a bread roll with my soup. I want potatoes and/or garlic bread with my steak. Salad is really pissing me off. Salad should be on the side of real food not a substitute for it!
I’m giving this another week, then I’m going to find an alternative diet. One that will allow me to have garlic bread covered in nutella. Until then, I am going to enjoy every sip of this water. That will solve everything!