“It is health which is real wealth, and not pieces of gold and silver” – Mahatma Gandhi
As a typically stressed person, who is always thinking that something bad is around the corner, getting ill really knocks me off my perch.
I’m not talking about a cold or an irritating cough, I’m talking really sick. The kind that has you laying in bed, wailing like some dying seal. Practically naked, covered in cold flannels, watching my dignity go out the window. That was me, the last weekend of September. Out of nowhere I was struck down. One moment at the hairdressers and within hours, in bed with a temperature of 104. No room for pride, when you have to call your husband to help you to the toilet at 5am in the morning. Hallmark doesn’t mention that kind of intimacy in a greeting card.
I bounced back on Monday but by Wednesday the fever had returned. In amongst all of that, I found a lump, the size of a small marble, in my groin which a GP diagnosed over the phone as ‘a harmless sebaceous cyst’. I was given a course of antibiotics, which I later found out, couldn’t be taken with paracetamol; which I had been taking for this persistent fever. So that evening, I found myself in A&E, at the recommendation of the NHS 111 service and was there all night. I had blood tests, urine tests, a Covid test and a chest x ray, alongside hourly blood pressure and pulse observations.
No one wanted to look at my cyst, they were all very flippant about how the antibiotics would work their magic and of course I can take paracetamol with them!! I wish somebody would get their storylines straight! One doctor said yes and the other said no. I was confused to say the least.
Fast forward another week and I’m sobbing down the phone to an urgent care nurse, after an email and call to my GP had been ignored. My cyst was bigger than a golf ball, I was in so much pain, I couldn’t walk, sit or sleep. I was so grateful she agreed to see me. She was very shocked at the state I had been left in and after the examination, she sent me straight to hospital.
There I was allocated a room on the ward and had a small procedure, under local anesthetic, to drain what was now a massive infected abscess. I had a balloon catheter fitted to continually drain the area and more antibiotics to make sure that this horrific nightmare exited the stage!
The procedure was not pleasant. I struggled to understand the doctor performing the surgery. She insisted on showing me all the blood soaked gauzes throughout;
“Look at this?”. Yeah I’d rather not.
I repeatedly asked for my husband but thanks to the Covid rules was told;
“No no, not necessary”. I beg to differ!
When it was over I was told I could ‘pop my clothes back on’. There was no chance of that, I needed to clean myself up first. I requested antibacterial wipes and got handed a wad of dry paper towels! I was mortified. Now, I’m no princess, I can rough it with the best of them. I have frequented many festivals in my time and managed perfectly fine in dodgy toilets, with wet wipes and prayer but this was a whole new level of grim.
It took 45 minutes to discharge me, followed by an hour and a half in the hospital pharmacy and I was finally free! Only to get home and find out that the pharmacy had given me one day of tablets instead of seven days so back we went for another hour and a half!
Now I know that life is what happens when you are busy making other plans but seriously! What a rough few weeks! I missed a couple of school runs which had never happened before. Thankfully my husband seamlessly filled in as needed and took care of everything that I couldn’t.
Now on the other side, I am so grateful to feel well. I hope and pray I never have another abscess again that’s for sure. I also hope and pray that GP’s start seeing patients again. Some people don’t want or need to be seen, I get that. They are happy with a chat over the phone and a prescription that they can collect. However some patients, like me this month, needed to be seen. Had I been taken seriously earlier, I would have not ended up in the state I was, sobbing and begging for help and needing minor surgery.
I can get my hair done, my nails done, my eyes tested, my teeth checked but I can’t get a doctor to see me. That’s scary. You are not allowed in the surgery with Covid and you cannot seem to get passed Reception without Covid. I wonder what is classed as a GP worthy issue now? I have never felt so alone and abandoned.
That one nurse who listened, agreed to see me, examined me, was kind to me and pushed for me to be seen by the hospital immediately, was an answered prayer. Her name was Simone and I thank her for being there and opening the door to my broken self, when everyone else was slamming them in my face.
As I shared my story with friends, I was devastated to learn I wasn’t alone. Everyone seemed to have experienced or knew someone who had been left to suffer, ignored, turned away, misdiagnosed, left too long, been spoken to like a second class citizen, had appointments in the form of text messages that they couldn’t respond to…the list goes on. What is happening?
Having needed the NHS a lot as a child, I know how amazing it is and how lucky we are to have it. I miss that NHS. Whatever we have looking after us now, is dropping the ball massively. The NHS must know how much we need them. The millions given to them in funding, the thousands we raise in sponsored events. The endless weeks we would come out of our homes to cheer and clap for our brave, bold and compassionate front line workers. To show them in a very public way, how much we appreciate them…
The last 18 months dealing with Covid, have been awful, tiring, scary and relentless but we are all in this together. Protect our NHS has been the line throughout, I understand that but we still need them to look after us when we get sick. All the illnesses and accidents that happened before Covid still happen. I hope something changes for the better soon.
According to the NHS website, there are 6 core values that all staff are expected to demonstrate:
- Working together for patients. Patients come first in everything we do
- Respect and dignity. We value every person – whether patient, their families or carers, or staff – as an individual, respect their aspirations and commitments in life, and seek to understand their priorities, needs, abilities and limits
- Commitment to quality of care. We earn the trust placed in us by insisting on quality and striving to get the basics of quality of care – safety, effectiveness and patient experience right every time
- Compassion. We ensure that compassion is central to the care we provide and respond with humanity and kindness to each person’s pain, distress, anxiety or need
- Improving lives. We strive to improve health and wellbeing and people’s experiences of the NHS
- Everyone counts. We maximise our resources for the benefit of the whole community, and make sure nobody is excluded, discriminated against or left behind.
Sounds bloody brilliant to me! Let’s get back to this Now more than ever, we need this kind of NHS. We need the kindness and compassion back. As patients, we need to feel safe, heard and respected. If these are the people that are being hired by the NHS, this is fantastic, don’t hide them away. We need them to look after us.
Please be there when we call. Please be kind when we see you. Please allow us to see you if we need to. It’s scary being ill and being made to feel like an inconvenience or a person not worthy of your time is heartbreaking.
‘we provide and respond with humanity and kindness to each person’s pain, distress, anxiety or need’
I’m looking forward to this core value coming back. Somewhere along the line it’s been lost.