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My Post Baby Reality

I was always hoping to fall into the Yummy Mummy category at this stage of the proceedings.  I have read all the glossy magazines, featuring celebrities that slip back into their old lives and skinny jeans within weeks!  On the opposite page is the obligatory counter argument that the Yummy Mummy is a myth and not realistic.  Blah Blah Blah.

The Yummy Mummy – Quintessentially the modern woman, who after an immensely blissful pregnancy and birth, gets her shit together in the same time it takes me to have a shower.  They maintain their jobs, social life and appearance whilst effortlessly adjusting to motherhood.  Their post baby body could easily grace the cover of Shape, they really are quite something.

Then there is the other side of the coin.  The comforting words of experienced (non celebrity) mums.  They reinforce the thinking that ‘it took nine months to gain weight so it will take 9 months to lose it’.  I like this way of thinking…a lot!

Celebrities do have personal trainers, chefs, dietitians and childcare on tap.  With that in mind, I believe that the Yummy Mummy should not be expected and / or considered the norm.  It does happen outside of the famous bubble though and as long as Mummy and baby are looking after themselves then do your thang!

For me I was still looking rather pregnant when my daughter was 8 weeks old.  Fast forward a few months and I am now carrying around my beautiful 11 month old daughter.  This task made easier by my rather stubborn parcel shelf of a tummy.  I am upset but I have no right to be as I haven’t really tried to lose the weight or tone up.  I completed an exercise DVD once and I managed 10 minutes on an exercise bike two months ago.  Wow, I really am just a sloth!

My little girl is classed as High Needs.  She does not enjoy independent play, so I must have her in the same room with me at all times.  She gets very upset when I am not actively engaged with her so my alone time is limited to when she naps.  Here is the kicker, she don’t nap!  Not like most babies anyway.  I used to get 10-15 minutes in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.  Now I just get an hour in the middle of the day! My cheeky girl is hardcore, in her world sleeping is for the weak!

My daily diet consists of:

Breakfast – Poached egg and a slice of wholemeal toast with a glass of orange juice
Lunch – Grilled chicken with Avocado salad
Dinner – Salmon en croute, New Potatoes and fresh vegetables
All snacks consist of fruit and an assortment of vegetables with a hummus dip

 

Ok…that was complete bollocks!  I have zero time for that!!  This is more accurate:

On waking – Tea and two Rich Tea biscuits
Breakfast – Special K
Lunch – Marmite on Toast
Dinner – Chilli Con Carne
All snacks consist of Go Ahead bars, crisps, Yoghurt, Chocolate bars, Custard Creams and copious quantities of tea!

I am in survival mode 24/7.  I do not have any help at home and I have not yet reached the Holy Grail of when babies sleep through the night.  It’s pretty awful.  My dressing gown is going to be the only thing that fits me shortly.  I eat custard cream biscuits like most people eat crisps.  I am constantly tired and constantly eating and drinking caffeine to keep the energy levels up.

I have made my peace with the Yummy Mummy tag not coming my way any time soon.  I have also passed the 9 month grace period given by normal mums that don’t breathe in junk food like oxygen!  Here are some recent gems of wisdom on my current situation:

It’s only you that can fix this situation
It’s not a diet, it is a lifestyle change
You may not be hungry, you may just be thirsty – drink some water
Substitute your unhealthy snacks for fruit
Prepare lean meats and salads in advance so you can resist reaching for junk food
Cut back on the caffeine, instead go for a brisk walk to boost your circulation and energy naturally!

I’m exhausted just thinking about it.  Who wants another brew?

 

 

 

 

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