Once you embark on pregnancy, you sign an invisible contract. From this moment on, you will be given advice. Wanted and necessary are not prerequisites to this situation. These pearls of ‘wisdom’ will be coming at you, from all angles, like it or not.
It’s nice for the most part. Fellow humans who have walked this intrepid path before you, will advise on the best route to take, based on their experience. Alongside some really awesome info, you also get some really infuriating shit.
This below par clap-trap usually falls out of the mouths of the following:
- Non parents
- Best Mate Aunties
- Rose tinted 60+ parents
Non Parents
Exactly what it says in the tin. No age limit applies here either. I have been on the receiving end, of pretentious children and their unsolicited advice, on more than one occasion. Nothing like a 17-year-old boy advising me on feeding techniques. Or a 7-year-old telling me how tired I will be with a baby. At the time, I sat listening graciously, quietly repeating the following mantra. Headbutting a child is wrong…headbutting a child is wrong…
Best Mate Aunties
No relation to the child but will be a regular in the child’s life, so an honorary title has been given. Some BMAs come with a wealth of experience. Some babysat when they were teenagers or work with someone who has a kid. Maybe they have nieces and nephews. All very touching but it isn’t the same thing as a round the clock 24/7 parent. Sorry.
Rose tinted 60+ parents
These old chestnuts were born in the 50s and most of the time mean well. Some but by no means all, are just way off base with their advice. Usually because so much has changed since they raised kids in the 70s and 80s. Also upon their recollection of events, they were excellent parents – sometimes that is not the case either.
16 months in and my toddler is thriving but this doesn’t stop and advice train from pulling in and tooting. I found myself with a category 2 this week. It was beyond frustrating. I am a mummy full time…I got this. This BMA clearly did not think I had full control of the situation so my visit was peppered with:
Take her coat off
She wants to get out
She wants to walk
I think she is too hot
She can’t see anything from her buggy
She wants the sun on her face
She needs fresh air
She needs a break from her routine
She doesn’t want her shade down
I think she is tired
If she walks about, she will sleep in the car
Damn, you got all that from my daughter, who does not say a word? Impressive.
I was a proud card-carrying BMA for years but never banged on, about what I believed my mummy friend, should and should not be doing with her child. I was there for her and part of my love and support for her, was knowing my bloody place. Don’t get me wrong, one or two comments are fine but a the barrage of them. Who does that? I have never come across this before. Not even my own mother, gives me such a grilling and she can’t stand missing an opportunity to chime in.
Anyway, deep cleansing breath. I am awesome and so is my princess.