Yes it’s that time of year again. Advent calendars out, tree up, decorations and twinkly lights aplenty. Gifts and card shopping in full swing and the stress and excitement levels are steadily rising.
I love it! I really do. Is there the odd pang of sadness? A small moment, when my breath catches, at a festive memory from the past? A Christmas song that stirs my heart in a bittersweet way? Yes, yes and yes. I do find the ‘season to be jolly’ a complicated one – I always have but I still enjoy it, just like I used to as a child.
Having a young daughter, makes my inner child, come out and take up residence for the entire holiday. Her presents are wrapped and hidden. I can’t wait to create the illusion of Santa’s visit. It’s such a magical time when they believe, that a jolly and rotund chap, soars through the sky and delivers presents worldwide in one night. I love the fantasy of it and will keep it going as long as her mind allows.
Behind the snowy footprints on the carpet, the crumbs of the thoroughly enjoyed mince pie and the surprise appearance of toys in abundance under our tree – is a knackered but happy mummy, smugly sipping a chilled glass of wine.
3 days to go until then, well not exactly…
My Mother In Law commanded, we all attend her festivities on Christmas Day. There was no asking or inviting, more of a command – bugger anyone else’s plans! My In Laws are South African and usually celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. With this in mind, arrangements were already made, to accommodate the usual order of things – when her Ladyship announced her soirèe. Rather than cause a stir, we fell in line. I was very upset as Christmas Day means alot to me and I have my own traditions I like to do. Sad thing is, my Mother in Law knows this but chose to skate over it.
My husband and I made the decision early on, to ride this out and give away our family day this once. You see, I have never spent Christmas Day, away from my home in about 17 years. I love to cook on Christmas Day; open presents with my family in our PJs in the morning. Eat a leisurely breakfast over coffee, surrounded by toys and gift wrap, while Michael Buble’s voice fills the air. I planned the Santa illusion. Made some reindeer food to sprinkle on our lawn the night before. I have some fake snow and stencils, to create Santa’s footprints in our hall. I imagined doing all this with my husband on Christmas Eve, watching Home Alone like two teenagers once it was done…now that’s got to change.
My husband could see how upset I was so made a simple but brilliant decision.
“We will do Christmas Day, our way, we will just move it all to Boxing Day”.
Our daughter is 3. She has no idea what day is what. The fantasy will remain, just 24 hours later. Genius!
I’m hosting a mini Christmas, for my daughter and some of her cousin’s on Christmas Eve. Attending the In Laws on Christmas Day, then Boxing Day, I will be tending to my little family. I can’t wait. As for my parents and brother…they are busy. I offered several dates to be together, including Christmas Eve but the lack of enthusiasm was staggering.
My parents popped in today to make sure our daughter had her gifts. They arrived an hour late and didn’t stay long but I’m grateful that they made the effort. That will probably be it from them, which is a shame. There are no plans to see my brother at all. In fact, I am seeing his partner and his children but not him. I need to make my peace with the fact that you can’t make people make you a priority.
I made my way into town, for the last time yesterday, to collect the last minute festive treats. Shockingly, the shops were already packing their Christmas stock away. As I walked down the aisle, previously occupied by tinsel, I saw lots of new homeware items ready for the new year. I stopped to read a decorative wooden plaque that caught my eye.
‘Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful’.
I smiled all the way home. As I unpacked my shopping, I looked around my home. The beautiful tree, decorations and Christmas cards hanging on the wall. I imagined my daughters face at Christmas time. I looked at the photos on the wall, reminding me of all our little adventures as a family up to now. My life is chaotic and far from perfect but in that moment, I was reminded, that it’s still pretty wonderful.
Will leave you with a good ole Christmas classic. Whether you hear Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Luther Vandross or Michael Bublè, when you read the lyrics, I hope it brings a smile.
Merry Christmas xx
Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Let your heart be light. From now on. Our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the yuletide gay. From now on, Our troubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days. Happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us. Gather near to us once more.
Through the years. We all will be together. If the fates allow. Hang a shining star Upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now