The best slogan I have seen on a T Shirt in a long time is:
If the love doesn’t feel like 90’s R&B I don’t want it!
Genius. I hope I have the balls to walk up to the person wearing this little beauty and shout – PREACH!
When I was growing up, there was always music playing at home. My mum loved Motown and soul music, so before I was a teenager, I was fluent in Teddy Pendergrass and Marvin Gaye. I’m sure my Nan hoped my mum would like Donny Osmond or something rather vanilla and innocent. Instead she was faced with a rather graphic poster of a half-naked Al Green on my mums bedroom wall.
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree…
I breezed through my teenage years listening to R Kelly, Jodeci, Boyz II Men and Luther Vandross. I had been wired that way. The romantic, the sexy, the explicit – I liked it all. While the Britpop war raged on, I was listening to a gorgeous man, tell me he saw ‘nothing wrong with a little Bump and Grind’. Quite right. Quite right indeed.
Much like the chick that watched too many romantic comedies and found her life more American Pie than Love Actually – I can’t help but feel a little cheated. I have met some amazing guys and some not so amazing ones but they all fell short of the lyrical promise that the 90’s flaunted.
My young love-life was more tealights and cheese toasties than wine and candles. No romantic movies with my significant other, tub of ice cream in hand – one spoon. No opulent restaurants and elegant jazz. Oils, massages and setting the mood…nope. Dang Teddy P! You lied! I have had the red roses, the mini breaks and the slow dances but those treats were rare. I still don’t feel like that grown woman I was supposed to. Treated like silk by her man, left breathless at the promise of forever. Wow I really am a sap!
Maybe it’s me. I totally bought into the fantasy of the knight in shining armour. Those R&B tracks from the 90’s were all about men being strong and romantic and the women being truly loved and respected.
- Pour the wine, light the fire, girl your wish is my command. I submit to your demands. I would do anything. Girl you need only ask. I’ll make love to you, like you want me to…
- Girl, to me you’re like a diamond. I love the way you shine
A hundred million dollar treasure. I’ll give the world to make you mine - I’ll give you everything I can. I’ll build your dreams with these two hands. We’ll hang some memories on the wall. And when there’s silver in your hair. You won’t have to ask if I still care. ‘Cause as time turns the page. My love won’t age at all
I have been listening to lyrics like that for over a decade. It’s no wonder, a glass of supermarket Pinot Grigio and a pasta bake, leaves me a little underwhelmed.
My husband has made some very romantic gestures during our relationship. He has also dropped the ball massively on occasion too. I guess it’s just the wiring. I listen to soul and he listens to trance. I’m hearing the lyrics while he is busy waiting for the beat to drop!
The topic of music is a weird one in my house now. My husband thought Marvin Gaye was a stripper in Magic Mike. He is so beautifully clueless at times. He is very conservative about music too. He would have complete meltdown if he heard some of the things I listen to in the car. Chris Brown (Take you down), The Weeknd (Tell your friends) and Bruno Mars (Versace in the floor). For me, music has gone from a loud and proud daily occurrence to a clandestine guilty pleasure.
Second to my family and friends. Music is my love. Sometimes, a girl just needs a little lift after taking a crying baby around Tesco. Bruno Mars suggesting that we ‘Kiss til we’re naked’ provides just that. I have a small window of opportunity to listen to what I want, before my child starts repeating everything and tells my Mum to ‘Drop it for a player’
#Mortified