‘Too many people are working hard on things they don’t love. To spend money they don’t have; On things they don’t need, to impress people they don’t like.’
I will let that fall where it lands.
That quote, may be true for most of us, at one time or another. It’s definitely been true for me, more than once.
Why?
Its that validation thing again. To be liked, respected. Seen as worthy, intelligent, successful, on trend, on brand, on point, one of the gang, group, team.
Basically giving up your own opinion of yourself to another person. Allowing your self esteem to be determined by someone else.
Will Smith said it best;
‘Other people’s opinions, is a really shitty way, to determine how we feel about ourselves’
It is. So why do we? Why do I? Why is their voice louder than mine? Their praise and support more valuable than my own. We spend so much time concerning ourselves, with what others may or may not think and live, love, act and adjust accordingly.
It takes a second to like a post, picture or status update. It takes a second to skate right passed it, without a word of praise or encouragement. How much thought went into that? Did any? How much thought is the person, that hoped for the support that never came, putting in now?
Judgemental, passive aggressive and blatant negative remarks, are easily, freely and publicly added to the comments section within moments. That post, at the centre of it, was the result of months of hard work. That picture took 25 attempts and a great deal of confidence to upload. That status update, contains the heart and soul of that individual, finally brave enough to reach out and be honest in their social media. All that work, confidence and bravery, hanging in the balance, waiting to know what others think. Good grief!
Maybe you put any old crap on your socials, not really caring what people think, until you realise what people think…
Are we that fragile?
We are allegedly in a snowflake generation, easily offended and less resilient. Or have we simply allowed other people’s thoughts about us, to become more important than our own.
‘You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do’. – Eleanor Roosevelt
That’s the game changer right there. No one thinks of us, as much as we think they do.
- Put the work in.
- Be confident.
- Be brave.
- Be happy
I try not to look at myself, through the eyes of someone else. It’s tough because we are wired to be social creatures and we all like to be liked. I am only human so I still get hurt, by the thoughts of others. It still stings when people slide over my feelings, ignore me or make thoughtless comments. I just try and move passed it with love.
To love like you’ve never been hurt is challenging. To keep moving forward in love and respect, even if you don’t receive any in return, is the promise I make to me.
So whether you’re trying to impress colleagues, old school friends, family, a partner or spouse, some group on Instagram…it’s worth noting that most people just want to be happy. I hope none of us lose sight of that, in the fog that is other people’s opinions.
You can’t please everyone. We have to find our own happiness and what that means to us.
Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!