It’s me, Frizz. You there?
After several conversations with my wonderful hairdresser; I decided to embark on the much raved about Curly Girl Method.
I purchased the book by Lorraine Massey and began to educate myself. Underneath my heavily straightened hair, is a naturally wavy, poofy situation that resembles curls. When it’s humid or raining, my hair starts freestyling. Not in a creative artistic way. More like a crazy, should be caged, kind of way. When I’m hot, stressed or sweating, it begins to ping out of style, clips and grips and spiral into a frizz. Cute!
Forget the beautiful, tousled curls of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Pay no mind to the wonderfully sexy, Gloria Estefan in the late 80s. They were the aspirations and desired goals, behind my one and only perming disaster. No matter what I did, the result was the same. I looked like Crystal Tipps, from that 70s cartoon. I was too young to remember the programme, the first time around but the visual of that girls hair, will stay with me for life.
Thankfully 2003 bought an end to my daily nightmare. I bought my first pair of straighteners. Welcome to the sleek and perfectly straight style that anyone, including me could attain. Welcome GHD. Thanks to that brand of straighteners, every day was a Good Hair Day!
I am aware of how self absorbed and materialistic I sound but any kid, who suffered the horrors of the dodgy 80s and 90s hairstyles – needed a win. My hair looked good, shiny, healthy. I could run my fingers through it for the first time… ever! I would wake up and low and behold, my perfectly straightened locks, were still sleek and in place. Finally my hair was no longer something I needed to worry about.
Here we are in 2019. I have had multiple pairs of straighteners, wouldn’t be without them. I even have a spare. I give myself the occasional day off but nowadays, most people who know me, think I have straight hair.
I was sceptical to say the least, when my hairdresser suggested I try this new system. My daughter has inherited my curls. She has curlier curls and frizzier frizz. If I could find a way to work with our hair, instead of spending years fighting it and basically burning it straight, maybe that’s the better option. For both of us. If I could learn to enhance and nurture our curls so our style looked healthy and intentional, that would be great.
On duty, I have always been poker straight. On the occasional day off, I look like Tim Burton with a fringe. Could there be a natural, curly inbetween?
The method is pretty brutal and challenges everything I thought I knew about hair care. The basic rules are:
- Throw out every bottle of shampoo you own
- Ditch your hairdryer, unless it has a diffuser
- Bin all straighteners, heat stylers and brushes
As a curly girl, I need to avoid sulfate and silicone. As these ingredients are in all shampoo products, I need to find a sulfate free solution or low poo, as its called. You are encouraged to co-wash instead, by using a botanical conditioner to cleanse your hair. Then follow with more conditioner that, depending on your curl type, you leave in and blot out or rinse out completely.
In the Curly Girl (CG) world you ‘squish to condish’. Basically scrunching and squeezing your conditioner into your hair for optimum hydration and allowing the curls to start forming. Forget your trusty towels, they are deemed too harsh and will cause frizz. Hair is to be gently blotted and scrunched, with a microfiber cloth or cotton T-Shirt. This method allows your hair to keep the moisture it needs and only remove the excess.
Then comes styling. Bring out the gel! Yes…gel. The little tubs or tubes of that funky coloured jelly, teenage boys used to use, back in the day. Scrunch that into your hair to give hold. Not too heavy or sticky, just enough to allow a crisp gel cast to form. Once your hair is naturally dried or diffused dry, you can scrunch away the gel cast, to leave soft bouncy curls. Always remember to scrunch hair upwards towards the scalp and do not be tempted to touch your curls during the drying process.
The gel you choose also needs to be free from alcohol, silicone, Parabens and Phthalates.
Are you guys still with me?
Before all that, you need to ascertain your curl type, as each type has slightly different needs. Are your curls, Corkscrew, Botticelli, Corkicelli, Cherub, Wavy, S’wavy, Fractal or Zigzag. All explained in the book. As my research took me to the internet, I started seeing posts from other curly girls, that were adding a spot of algebra to their questions. Claiming to be a 2b or a 3c or mix of two.
What? Had I missed something? Was there another book?
No. There is another hair typing system that identifies curl types. Put in place in the 90s and still used today, curly girls are turning to this classification method, to guide them on what type of curl they have and how to care for it. Developed by hair stylist, Andre Walker, he suggested 4 main types:
- Straight Hair
- Wavy Hair
- Curly Hair
- Coily Hair
The a, b and c have been added as subcategories, within these types, to identify the different wave, curl and coil within each main type. You may have really loose waves or very tight coils. Your hair may be flat on the crown and become more wavy at mid length. You could have very tight and almost coarse coils from start to finish. You could have a mix of everything and anything in between! Welcome to the curl vortex!
I had no idea what I was getting myself into. At first I was excited. The thought of relaxing my hair care routine; air drying, conditioning and the rather wonderful gift of more time. The hours that I would no longer be spending, on blow drying and straightening! I could get an extra hour in bed, every day!
I am three weeks in. I’m stressed out of my mind, my hair looks and feels awful. I have frizzy roots, dry ends and volume that just shouldn’t be allowed! All the awful memories of hideous school photos of me are flooding back. I wash with conditioner, condition with conditioner, leave most of it in there, add gel, scrunch until my fingers weep, I don’t touch my hair, I put it up in a unicorn pony to sleep, I don’t wash it more than twice a week; I am following the rules and it’s the worst it’s ever been.
My scalp is itchy. My hair doesn’t shine anymore. It’s a matted mess that I can’t run my fingers through. Hairwise…I’m depressed! I have purchased the top rated co-wash, the recommended gel and mousse. Even bought a brand new hairdryer as I hadn’t owned a diffuser in 20 years! What’s going wrong?
If this system wasn’t complicated enough, it was about to step up a gear. Back to internet I go. The hours and hours I have spent researching products, advice and hacks, are too many to mention. The good book tells you what not to use but not (in any real terms), what you can use. The microscopic printed list of ingredients, on any one bottle of product, is confusing on a good day. I’m there with my phone camera, magnifying the list, only to feel pretty much illiterate!
Facebook, Pinterest and thousands of blogs and forums, are on hand to provide lists of CG friendly products. If you can source them and actually afford them, you are in a good position. After more research, it turns out I may need a clarifying shampoo. My dry, itchy frizz can be caused by a build up of product. Although the book dismisses this theory, many girls following the method, have benefited from a once a month clarify. This shampoo contains sulfate, it needs to be a stronger cleanser, to clean the build up of all that sulfate free conditioner.
Are you shitting me!
I’m really trying here. So despite all my moisturising, my hair has turned to straw because it has too much product in there. Going forward I will alternate between – Co-wash, condition, gel/style and Low poo, condition, gel/style. With a leave in conditioning treatment twice a month and a clarifying shampoo once a month. What a relaxed hair care routine that is! Would be perfect if I had all the time in the world and a bottomless supply of patience and cash!
Told my hairdresser about my struggles and my temptation to quit. Sent her a photo of my current haystack for reference. Her response was:
“You might need some more protein in your hair”
What protein based shampoo, conditioner, gel, mouse, cream or oil will I need for that?!?!
So much for the gift of time. I really just want to flip the bird at all of it. This is apparently, the transition phase. I don’t seem to be taking it well.
To be continued…