A proud and equally terrifying moment is dawning. I am taking my little girl swimming. She has had terrible trouble, just having a bath so we have delayed, until we thought she could cope.
Lesson is booked, we are ready to go…ish.
My daughter needs reusable swim nappies, I didn’t even know they were a thing. Not a typical supermarket item, I had to order them from a specialist swim store. At this store, I was overwhelmed by the products available:
- Sunsuit
- Wetsuit
- Swimsuit
- Swim Nappy
- Bikini
- Baby wrap
- Float suit
- UV All in one
That’s before you get to the hooded towels, goggles and bundles. The bundles, give parents the option, to buy their child a coordinated swimming wardrobe. This allows your little cherub, a mid session costume change, depending on what your little fashionista desires. Good grief!
I think we are now set. I’m worried she will be wearing, something completely different to the other kids buy hey, it’s one lesson – I can correct this for next time.
Right, we’re ready, almost…
I have not been in a pool for about 20 years! The occasional, cocktail fuelled dip, on holiday does not count. I am still, in full possession, of a mummy pooch so I need to get a swimsuit. I try this little conservative number on, with a splash of colour. Two things… 1) I feel a bit frumpy. 2) Swimsuits are not flattering, for the more ample bosom. I feel like my 34 DDs, are being spread evenly, over my body so I look like a portly sausage!
I try on this delightful ensemble for my husband. He asks for more light – coz that’s what this giant pasty Cumberland needs right now – More shitting light! I do a twirl and wait.
“You are taking our two year old swimming. It’s fit for purpose.”
Fit for purpose! I’m your wife, not a bloody brolly! Fit for purpose!!!
Shake it off, it’s fine. My kid has clothes to swim, I have my sausage outfit. Let’s do this!